Ask Pauline
Sometimes a question that you have may be one, that someone else is wanting to know the answer to as well. It is quite common to feel scared, or ashamed, expecting to be judged if one dare's to speak their truth. So because of these fears, one chooses instead to stay quiet, and therefor unenlightened. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, I encourage you to be bold and brave, ask the question's, you never know the answer's could be right here and your fears may be dissolved....
My girlfriend is cheating on me
Q. Hi Pauline,
I am currently experiencing relationship difficulties as my girlfriend cheated on me and no longer wishes to sleep with me. Is this something you can help me to overcome and what would you suggest for this?
A. Hi Sam,
Sorry to hear you have been cheated on by your girlfriend. Without knowing the full story (both sides) I cannot comment. It can be a very fickle hurtful world out there.
There are many reasons people cheat. Most of the time it isn't even about the person they are cheating on. They could be bored, lonely, no longer interested in you, but not have the balls to tell you how they are feeling, secretly want an open relationship, or want to explore new and better more positive loving people, or they could be really good at sabotaging a good thing, need validation etc . There are many many reasons. You could do your head in trying to figure it out, or you can just forgive the indiscretion and, move on yourself, with or without her. You have choices available do what is good for you.
In my experience It can be hard living with a person that is untrustworthy. I believe it kills the soul if you let it get to you. As for whether I can help you overcome this. Yes and No. This is not something someone else can fix, you will need to dig in deep and search what your heart is telling you. What I can do is take the stress off the issue for you, through bodywork, and help you come to a decision from a place of strength and love and understanding.
From a bodywork perspective I suggest the following sessions, Talk Therapy, Reiki or Lingam Healing with Reiki. Then go out into nature, walk, surf, ride and find some peace through meditation, breathwork and positive thought structuring. This way next time you attract a lady into your life, you are stronger and will recognize the one that is willing to love, nurture and cherish you, the man...
Good Luck
Talk Soon.
I am currently experiencing relationship difficulties as my girlfriend cheated on me and no longer wishes to sleep with me. Is this something you can help me to overcome and what would you suggest for this?
A. Hi Sam,
Sorry to hear you have been cheated on by your girlfriend. Without knowing the full story (both sides) I cannot comment. It can be a very fickle hurtful world out there.
There are many reasons people cheat. Most of the time it isn't even about the person they are cheating on. They could be bored, lonely, no longer interested in you, but not have the balls to tell you how they are feeling, secretly want an open relationship, or want to explore new and better more positive loving people, or they could be really good at sabotaging a good thing, need validation etc . There are many many reasons. You could do your head in trying to figure it out, or you can just forgive the indiscretion and, move on yourself, with or without her. You have choices available do what is good for you.
In my experience It can be hard living with a person that is untrustworthy. I believe it kills the soul if you let it get to you. As for whether I can help you overcome this. Yes and No. This is not something someone else can fix, you will need to dig in deep and search what your heart is telling you. What I can do is take the stress off the issue for you, through bodywork, and help you come to a decision from a place of strength and love and understanding.
From a bodywork perspective I suggest the following sessions, Talk Therapy, Reiki or Lingam Healing with Reiki. Then go out into nature, walk, surf, ride and find some peace through meditation, breathwork and positive thought structuring. This way next time you attract a lady into your life, you are stronger and will recognize the one that is willing to love, nurture and cherish you, the man...
Good Luck
Talk Soon.
How do I love myself again?
Q. Hi Pauline,
I am a mid 30's voluptuous woman with four small children. I can honestly say I have only ever experienced 3 or 4 orgasms. You mentioned that you could help with this.
I hate my body, I feel disconnected from it, I can't bare to look at my flabby tummy in the mirror, let alone let my husband see me without my clothes on. When we make love, it is in the dark! I can't bring myself to enjoy sex because all I can think about is how I look or how I feel to him. This has created problems for us, as he is now experiencing premature ejaculation issues and when we do make love it's over very quickly.
When I do gather the courage to take control over my sex life, and climb on board to ride him like the inner cow girl I know I am...I become very aware of my rolling tummy as I bounce away in the saddle. So then I become disheartened and and the joy leaves me... To make matters worse I have noticed him looking at porn on the computer, and the girls are much smaller than me, which hasn't helped my insecurities.
Can you help me?
A. Thank you for your letter, please don't become disheartened, we all experience times of low self esteem at one time or another in our lives. The key is to not let our mind chatter become our truth.
The first thing that needs to be addressed is the fact that your man is looking at porn. Let me say this, I know how it feels, most guys do look at porn, or naked pics of women. Most of the time it has nothing to do with us. In other words it is not about you. That issue lies totally with him. He may just be using it as a "time out", if so offer to look at some with him, be open to it, see what evolves...but don't take on board the fact that he is looking at porn is because of you and don't allow yourself to feel lesser than because of it. The average person that googles anything on the internet these days is constantly bombarded with big boobed, small waisted waifs of women, that may or may not actually be women if you know what I mean. So stop the worry in that department. Let's focus first on you. If you are feeling confident and sexy and beautiful, no matter what your size, then nothing like a bit of silly porn on the internet is going to faze your glorious life with your partner.
So, you may think that you have a belly with rolls and wobbles, and you may think that you look ugly and unbecoming to your partner or be insecure about baring yourself in light to your husband. Remember this, we are not our bodies, our bodies merely cover what is within. Sure we can decorate our bodies, make them more attractive or beautiful to look at, but if we don't love ourselves from within, all of the feathers and masks that we wear on the outside don't mean a thing...
It is important to connect with yourself in the dark, in the light and in front of the mirror. Try to make it a daily ritual to connect with yourself. You can do this in various ways. By self exploration and pleasuring, exploring naturism even if its on your own or with a girlfriend, taking a long luxurious bath with aromatherapy oils, applying scented lotions, brushing your hair, looking at yourself in the mirror with love, not judgement, make eye contact with yourself. Show gratitude for your strong body, your sound mind and your loving heart. Acknowledge your gifts of open heart, courage and humour and intelligence. And ask yourself this question, "Would you treat your best girlfriend, the way your treat yourself?", I am sure your answer would be NO!
Having said this obviously if you are going to eat mindlessly and not exercise or take time to treat your body with love and focus, then you will most likely feel like absolute crap. So try to eat clean. Lots of fruit, vegetables and grains, with zero to a minimum amount of animal proteins. Lots of clean healthy water, to flush it all down. Then take time to walk, exercise and meditate for you, for your soul. Surround yourself with positive, like minded good vibed people. Then...
I encourage my clients to connect with their naked bellies as often as possible, by stroking it and rubbing it gently and acknowledging it's presence of power and intuitive ability. I also suggest making it a bedtime ritual to sleep naked next to their partners and prior to falling asleep, stroke each other's bodies and lay together facing each other, making eye contact and enjoy the sensation of feeling your partner's body touching yours. How does it feel, soft, silky, hairy, erotic? Make an extra effort to stroke your partner when you wake up in the morning or even during the night. Touch is a very important love language that doesn't get addressed enough. (some people, think that they have to have sex if they touch each other, but that isn't the case) by touching and stroking your partner, you are showing him or her that you still want them, find them attractive and they will either reciprocate or acknowledge by sound or movement. If this ritual does lead on to yummier things like lovemaking and kissing, take the opportunity to enjoy every moment. And be like a girl guide...."be prepared"...have lube, condoms, toys etc in a drawer next to the bed. Charged up and ready to go, there is nothing worse that having an unwashed vibrator with a flat battery in the bedside table...that's a bummer especially if it is the one thing that could have taken you just over the edge of bliss!
A trick we use in our bedroom for spontaneous lovemaking is to have a little night light attached to a power board, and when the feeling overcomes us to connect through love making, which is quite often, due to the fact that we sleep naked next to each other every night, we just flick on the switch and a soft glow allows us to make eye contact. Instead of using lamplight which can be a bit harsh, candle light can be very forgiving and actually make a body look very sexy. Then make eye contact while making long slow love.
P.S.
Just a little side note here from one woman to another... I often tell my lady clients that when I massage women on the massage table, their bodies are beautiful. I don't see ugly, dimply or fat, I see women who have lived, are curvy, bossomy goddesses with beautifully shaped buttock's, and soft stunning skin. When a women lies on her back or on her tummy, to receive a massage from her husband, this is too, what he sees.
Women, get out of your head's and back into that beautiful body no matter your size, just enjoy it, use it and play with the juicy sensations that you can create with it.
Have fun,
xxxxLove Pauline
I am a mid 30's voluptuous woman with four small children. I can honestly say I have only ever experienced 3 or 4 orgasms. You mentioned that you could help with this.
I hate my body, I feel disconnected from it, I can't bare to look at my flabby tummy in the mirror, let alone let my husband see me without my clothes on. When we make love, it is in the dark! I can't bring myself to enjoy sex because all I can think about is how I look or how I feel to him. This has created problems for us, as he is now experiencing premature ejaculation issues and when we do make love it's over very quickly.
When I do gather the courage to take control over my sex life, and climb on board to ride him like the inner cow girl I know I am...I become very aware of my rolling tummy as I bounce away in the saddle. So then I become disheartened and and the joy leaves me... To make matters worse I have noticed him looking at porn on the computer, and the girls are much smaller than me, which hasn't helped my insecurities.
Can you help me?
A. Thank you for your letter, please don't become disheartened, we all experience times of low self esteem at one time or another in our lives. The key is to not let our mind chatter become our truth.
The first thing that needs to be addressed is the fact that your man is looking at porn. Let me say this, I know how it feels, most guys do look at porn, or naked pics of women. Most of the time it has nothing to do with us. In other words it is not about you. That issue lies totally with him. He may just be using it as a "time out", if so offer to look at some with him, be open to it, see what evolves...but don't take on board the fact that he is looking at porn is because of you and don't allow yourself to feel lesser than because of it. The average person that googles anything on the internet these days is constantly bombarded with big boobed, small waisted waifs of women, that may or may not actually be women if you know what I mean. So stop the worry in that department. Let's focus first on you. If you are feeling confident and sexy and beautiful, no matter what your size, then nothing like a bit of silly porn on the internet is going to faze your glorious life with your partner.
So, you may think that you have a belly with rolls and wobbles, and you may think that you look ugly and unbecoming to your partner or be insecure about baring yourself in light to your husband. Remember this, we are not our bodies, our bodies merely cover what is within. Sure we can decorate our bodies, make them more attractive or beautiful to look at, but if we don't love ourselves from within, all of the feathers and masks that we wear on the outside don't mean a thing...
It is important to connect with yourself in the dark, in the light and in front of the mirror. Try to make it a daily ritual to connect with yourself. You can do this in various ways. By self exploration and pleasuring, exploring naturism even if its on your own or with a girlfriend, taking a long luxurious bath with aromatherapy oils, applying scented lotions, brushing your hair, looking at yourself in the mirror with love, not judgement, make eye contact with yourself. Show gratitude for your strong body, your sound mind and your loving heart. Acknowledge your gifts of open heart, courage and humour and intelligence. And ask yourself this question, "Would you treat your best girlfriend, the way your treat yourself?", I am sure your answer would be NO!
Having said this obviously if you are going to eat mindlessly and not exercise or take time to treat your body with love and focus, then you will most likely feel like absolute crap. So try to eat clean. Lots of fruit, vegetables and grains, with zero to a minimum amount of animal proteins. Lots of clean healthy water, to flush it all down. Then take time to walk, exercise and meditate for you, for your soul. Surround yourself with positive, like minded good vibed people. Then...
I encourage my clients to connect with their naked bellies as often as possible, by stroking it and rubbing it gently and acknowledging it's presence of power and intuitive ability. I also suggest making it a bedtime ritual to sleep naked next to their partners and prior to falling asleep, stroke each other's bodies and lay together facing each other, making eye contact and enjoy the sensation of feeling your partner's body touching yours. How does it feel, soft, silky, hairy, erotic? Make an extra effort to stroke your partner when you wake up in the morning or even during the night. Touch is a very important love language that doesn't get addressed enough. (some people, think that they have to have sex if they touch each other, but that isn't the case) by touching and stroking your partner, you are showing him or her that you still want them, find them attractive and they will either reciprocate or acknowledge by sound or movement. If this ritual does lead on to yummier things like lovemaking and kissing, take the opportunity to enjoy every moment. And be like a girl guide...."be prepared"...have lube, condoms, toys etc in a drawer next to the bed. Charged up and ready to go, there is nothing worse that having an unwashed vibrator with a flat battery in the bedside table...that's a bummer especially if it is the one thing that could have taken you just over the edge of bliss!
A trick we use in our bedroom for spontaneous lovemaking is to have a little night light attached to a power board, and when the feeling overcomes us to connect through love making, which is quite often, due to the fact that we sleep naked next to each other every night, we just flick on the switch and a soft glow allows us to make eye contact. Instead of using lamplight which can be a bit harsh, candle light can be very forgiving and actually make a body look very sexy. Then make eye contact while making long slow love.
P.S.
Just a little side note here from one woman to another... I often tell my lady clients that when I massage women on the massage table, their bodies are beautiful. I don't see ugly, dimply or fat, I see women who have lived, are curvy, bossomy goddesses with beautifully shaped buttock's, and soft stunning skin. When a women lies on her back or on her tummy, to receive a massage from her husband, this is too, what he sees.
Women, get out of your head's and back into that beautiful body no matter your size, just enjoy it, use it and play with the juicy sensations that you can create with it.
Have fun,
xxxxLove Pauline
Tantric Massage for Transgender...
Q. Hi Pauline,
I have been googling Tantric Massage and stumbled across your page, I will also be in and around your area in the next month and would like to book a session with you.
I am a transgender, born male but living female most of the time. I am pre op, pre hormones and still discovering myself. It is going to be a long journey which I m only just starting. I don't yet have a Yoni, but have a strong desire to one day be able to experience the sensuality of being a fully formed woman. I have had these thoughts from a very young age.
I am wondering if any of your sessions could be tailored, given my current anatomy, to treat me like a genetic female, to enable me to think and move and feel like a real woman, even orgasm as a female to have a close a feeling a possible to be in a woman's body in ecstasy. I would like to know through visualization and sensation, how it feels to have a clitoris, labia and vagina etc. I also would like to learn to receive like a real woman both physically and spiritually.
In terms of what receiving means...I am not sure. I don't necessarily mean physically, more emotionally and mentally. I'm not thinking of actually being penetrated but the feeling a woman would get when she feels sensual and yearns to be penetrated both in the pelvic region, but also the whole body experience of a female. I don't know what this would be like, and as you know how a woman should feel I would submit to your guidance. Although I would really like one day to have surgery before I start on that journey, I would like to come as close as possible to feel like I have a vagina.
Is this something you could help me with?
Many thanks,
A.
Thank you for your enquiry, I am very pleased to be able to offer you my support and guidance. Tantric and Erotic bodywork is perfect for everyone wishing to experience a deeper connection with their higher self as well as receive ecstatic pleasure throughout their body. I love working with all genders and especially enjoy bringing a spiritual connection to your session through mindful touch, breathwork and visualization. I recommend a Sacred Sensual Massage to begin with so that we can get to know each other. I can most certainly help with guiding you into connecting with your Sacred Feminine Essence, in further sessions we can incorporate some sensual surrender and role play, to help you dance with the aspects of the feminine goddess.
I encourage you to throw fear away and come have some fun, and experience the way I can create pleasure through mindfulness and connection. I want to assure you that you will enjoy a truly spiritual, connecting and sacred body work session.
I look forward to meeting you.
I have been googling Tantric Massage and stumbled across your page, I will also be in and around your area in the next month and would like to book a session with you.
I am a transgender, born male but living female most of the time. I am pre op, pre hormones and still discovering myself. It is going to be a long journey which I m only just starting. I don't yet have a Yoni, but have a strong desire to one day be able to experience the sensuality of being a fully formed woman. I have had these thoughts from a very young age.
I am wondering if any of your sessions could be tailored, given my current anatomy, to treat me like a genetic female, to enable me to think and move and feel like a real woman, even orgasm as a female to have a close a feeling a possible to be in a woman's body in ecstasy. I would like to know through visualization and sensation, how it feels to have a clitoris, labia and vagina etc. I also would like to learn to receive like a real woman both physically and spiritually.
In terms of what receiving means...I am not sure. I don't necessarily mean physically, more emotionally and mentally. I'm not thinking of actually being penetrated but the feeling a woman would get when she feels sensual and yearns to be penetrated both in the pelvic region, but also the whole body experience of a female. I don't know what this would be like, and as you know how a woman should feel I would submit to your guidance. Although I would really like one day to have surgery before I start on that journey, I would like to come as close as possible to feel like I have a vagina.
Is this something you could help me with?
Many thanks,
A.
Thank you for your enquiry, I am very pleased to be able to offer you my support and guidance. Tantric and Erotic bodywork is perfect for everyone wishing to experience a deeper connection with their higher self as well as receive ecstatic pleasure throughout their body. I love working with all genders and especially enjoy bringing a spiritual connection to your session through mindful touch, breathwork and visualization. I recommend a Sacred Sensual Massage to begin with so that we can get to know each other. I can most certainly help with guiding you into connecting with your Sacred Feminine Essence, in further sessions we can incorporate some sensual surrender and role play, to help you dance with the aspects of the feminine goddess.
I encourage you to throw fear away and come have some fun, and experience the way I can create pleasure through mindfulness and connection. I want to assure you that you will enjoy a truly spiritual, connecting and sacred body work session.
I look forward to meeting you.
Self Conscious about my body...
Q.Hi Pauline,
I'm not sure why I'm writing to you since your'e in the North Island and I'm in the South. Do you ever travel? Or have advice to travelling to Te Aroha for someone on their own?
I was just googling because I'm so self conscious and shy with my body and I want to get over it. Especially I have problems letting guys see my lady parts. I had a boyfriend for 5 years and I wouldn't let him see me. It was lights off!!
I'm 26 years old, tall and slim and have a pretty face... But I am so focused on other things about my body...My hips, thighs, cellulite and ugly vagina and nipples... That I am not comfortable and confident naked.
I love relaxing environments and massage, candles, music and being taken care of. I have been single for 2 years now and I'm sooo lonely.
Anyway I loved reading your websites and felt the warmth and comfort!
How much would it cost If I had a nights stay and meals and like a relaxation holiday?
Thanks and Kind regards,
A.
Thank you for reaching out, I suggest that you give me a call to discuss the feasibility of coming through to us in Te Aroha. From what you have mentioned it sounds like a weekend (couple of days stay in Te Aroha) would be recommended.
Logistics:
We are happy to collect you from Hamilton or Tauranga airport. (which is where most of our South Island visitors fly in to) Or they fly into Auckland airport and hire a car. This all depends on your budget and time you have free.
There are many ways that I can help you become more confident in your body.
I am sad to hear that you have significant body issues. I am happy to be in service to help you release your traumas that are hindering you from exploring your authentic ecstatic self.
So going forward I look forward to receiving your call, so we can formulate a plan of bodywork, talk therapy, ecstatic dance, exploration of naturism, and accommodation and travel.
I'm not sure why I'm writing to you since your'e in the North Island and I'm in the South. Do you ever travel? Or have advice to travelling to Te Aroha for someone on their own?
I was just googling because I'm so self conscious and shy with my body and I want to get over it. Especially I have problems letting guys see my lady parts. I had a boyfriend for 5 years and I wouldn't let him see me. It was lights off!!
I'm 26 years old, tall and slim and have a pretty face... But I am so focused on other things about my body...My hips, thighs, cellulite and ugly vagina and nipples... That I am not comfortable and confident naked.
I love relaxing environments and massage, candles, music and being taken care of. I have been single for 2 years now and I'm sooo lonely.
Anyway I loved reading your websites and felt the warmth and comfort!
How much would it cost If I had a nights stay and meals and like a relaxation holiday?
Thanks and Kind regards,
A.
Thank you for reaching out, I suggest that you give me a call to discuss the feasibility of coming through to us in Te Aroha. From what you have mentioned it sounds like a weekend (couple of days stay in Te Aroha) would be recommended.
Logistics:
We are happy to collect you from Hamilton or Tauranga airport. (which is where most of our South Island visitors fly in to) Or they fly into Auckland airport and hire a car. This all depends on your budget and time you have free.
There are many ways that I can help you become more confident in your body.
I am sad to hear that you have significant body issues. I am happy to be in service to help you release your traumas that are hindering you from exploring your authentic ecstatic self.
So going forward I look forward to receiving your call, so we can formulate a plan of bodywork, talk therapy, ecstatic dance, exploration of naturism, and accommodation and travel.
I'm Self Conscious with my wife...
Q. Hi Pauline,
I've been reading your 'healing touch' info, and would be keen to meet, but thought I needed to explain fully where I am at. I am opening up about this because there is a body self conscious side I'm wanting dealt with and saw that your info said to be prepared to talk about past experiences, and to trust you.
We actually talked a while ago as I was enquiring about 'naked yoga' classes, and you kindly tried to find one for me. So here goes this is where I am at....
Part 1
I'm 52, married (for 20 years), I'm a slim marathon runner and a naturist. My wife is not interested in being a naturist around others, but has no problem being nude with me in secluded public areas. I tend to go to a naturist park, however while I have no problem, in fact LOVE sunbathing, walking around nude with other's, I do have a hangup that I need to get rid of , and that is I get nervous/embarrassed posing nude to be looked at.
While I have no issue stripping and walking around the house nude, if my wife says (when I am just wearing undies, and she feels like fun) "Ok drop the undies and pose nude while I look at you" I cannot do it without feeling self conscious.
Similarly, In my head - I would love to do the same to her, be able to say "ok, pose for me in just bra and undies....nice, take your bra off for me and do another pose and look at me while I look at your body" I've (again, sort of) done this with her, but it was more like "ok, take your bra off and just let me look at you standing still" (I didn't have the confidence to take control and be more like, "nice babe, pose with your hands over your head, lovely, bend over a bit and let me see your breasts hanging down...")
Sex between us is great, we can strip each other and it's great. It's just this self consciousness I don't understand. On one hand I can walk around the naturist park and beach without a care, so why do I feel embarrassed doing this for my wife?
Part 2
I did do something a few years ago to try and help. After watching the movie 'a dangerous method' where Keira Knightly was stripped and strapped by her therapist, I visited a dominatrix, explained what my hangup was, and we both thought a session where I faced this embarrassment whilst being caned may help...i.e. if you're made to pose between cane strokes, then posing without a caning would be easier.
What happened was, she stood in front of me, got me to strip and stand still for her for about 5 minutes, while she stared at me. (I was shaking like a leaf with nerves) then I put my hands on my head and she caned me while I was standing up, after every stroke she would walk around and stand in front of me and look.
I think the session did help as I have found it a bit easier since, and the reason I was keen on naked yoga was that it would help confidence posing nude.
Phew! Ok, that's where I am.
I guess once you have read this we can chat and make an appointment. A massage would be great, but if you have any thoughts on how to deal with what I've mentioned, that would be awesome.
A.
Good on you for reaching out. I applaud you for taking time to dive in feel your fears or insecurities. Most folk would be a little apprehensive in "showing" themselves to others, even if it is with a spouse. It becomes something quite kinky and erotic which does get the blood pumping or the adrenalin rushing and perhaps this is being mistaken for embarrassment. Doing anything outside of ones comfort zone will create these feelings initially, but the more one explores, the more confident one will become. (I still remember my first time to a Naturist Park with my partner, how scary and embarrassing it felt...now it feels wierd being clothed.) I personally feel that keeping open communication with your spouse on how you are feeling, and how she can best support you is really beneficial. Going to see a Dom, was also a good idea, and one that I would have suggested too.
On the subject of Naked Yoga, I did speak to a Yoga instructor that is also a Sacred Sexuality Coach and he said that there are too many poses that would make Naked Yoga not a very pleasant sight to behold. You may however find some naked dancing to be a welcome avenue to explore, and this you can certainly do with your wife, in the comfort of your own home.
I encourage Couples to come and see me with their issues, so together we can create a playful plan of intimacy and re-connection.
Sacred Intimate enquiry...
Q.
Hi Pauline,
I am a grad student in America. I have been involved in a sex positive, queer, feminist, spiritual life, sacred sexuality circles for all my adult life and have several friends who are professional tantra practitioners. I found your information while researching tantric practitioners in New Zealand.
Three years ago, I began a romantic and sexual relationship with a man in Christchurch. We have only seen each other once in person, most of our relationship happens over the internet:)
We are non-monogamous and supportive of each other's other relationships. I am in several other relationships, but he is having a hard time finding other partners in Christchurch, partially because he has an intellectual disability (autism-spectrum disorder). He "passes" as someone without a disability (and is quite handsome) and unfortunately his unusual social behaviour makes it hard for him to find ongoing romantic and sexual connection.
We have been talking about him finding someone that he can pay to have sexual release with, and I was hoping to help him find a spiritually-engaged, socially-conscious sexual healer and surrogate figure that he could have an ongoing therapeutic relationship with. I saw on your page that you work on the North Island. Unfortunately he does not have the financial resources to travel on his own. Do you have any recommendations to someone that he could see in Christchurch? He is a wonderful, wonderful human being and I REALLY want him to experience loving touch and sexual release with another live human being.
Please let me know if you can help me with my search!
A.
Thank you for reaching out on behalf of your friend and many others who read this. I am happy to say that I was able to send this lady a few telephone numbers so her friend could be supported. Living on one's own, and being dislocated from society and community will no doubt take a huge toll on a persons will to live an authentic and happy life. Everyone needs touch and affirmations in their life. All I can say is reach out, there will always be help somewhere, you merely need to ask. Know that you are not alone somewhere there is someone just like you, thinking and feeling the same thoughts and emotions. We are all connected and part of a greater web of life.
Love to you all. xxx
Hi Pauline,
I am a grad student in America. I have been involved in a sex positive, queer, feminist, spiritual life, sacred sexuality circles for all my adult life and have several friends who are professional tantra practitioners. I found your information while researching tantric practitioners in New Zealand.
Three years ago, I began a romantic and sexual relationship with a man in Christchurch. We have only seen each other once in person, most of our relationship happens over the internet:)
We are non-monogamous and supportive of each other's other relationships. I am in several other relationships, but he is having a hard time finding other partners in Christchurch, partially because he has an intellectual disability (autism-spectrum disorder). He "passes" as someone without a disability (and is quite handsome) and unfortunately his unusual social behaviour makes it hard for him to find ongoing romantic and sexual connection.
We have been talking about him finding someone that he can pay to have sexual release with, and I was hoping to help him find a spiritually-engaged, socially-conscious sexual healer and surrogate figure that he could have an ongoing therapeutic relationship with. I saw on your page that you work on the North Island. Unfortunately he does not have the financial resources to travel on his own. Do you have any recommendations to someone that he could see in Christchurch? He is a wonderful, wonderful human being and I REALLY want him to experience loving touch and sexual release with another live human being.
Please let me know if you can help me with my search!
A.
Thank you for reaching out on behalf of your friend and many others who read this. I am happy to say that I was able to send this lady a few telephone numbers so her friend could be supported. Living on one's own, and being dislocated from society and community will no doubt take a huge toll on a persons will to live an authentic and happy life. Everyone needs touch and affirmations in their life. All I can say is reach out, there will always be help somewhere, you merely need to ask. Know that you are not alone somewhere there is someone just like you, thinking and feeling the same thoughts and emotions. We are all connected and part of a greater web of life.
Love to you all. xxx
Q
Hi Pauline,
I'm not sure why I'm writing to you since you're in the North Island and I'm in the South. Do you ever travel? Or have advice to travelling to Te Aroha or someone on their own..?
I was just googling because I'm so self conscious and shy with my body and I want to get over it. Especially I have problems letting guys see my lady parts. I had a boyfriend for 5 years and I wouldn't let him see me. It was lights off!!
I am 26 years old and tall and slim and have a pretty face...but I am so focused on other things about my body...My hips, thighs, cellulite and ugly vagina, nipples...that I am not comfortable and confident naked.
I love relaxing environments and massage, candles, music and being taken care of. I have been single for 2 years now and I am so lonely.
Anyway I loved reading your websites and felt the warmth and comfort!
How much would it cost if I had a nights stay and meals and like a little relaxation holiday?
Thanks
A
Body image issues can have a significant impact on our sense of well-being, on our intimate relationship with ourselves as well as with a partner. This is something that I am very passionate about and no it is not a quick fix! Our minds, our belief systems, the way our parents raised us, our peer support...media, (the list goes on), so many things have had a part to play in the way we 'see' ourselves.
Sometimes exploring outside of our comfort zones can be quite scary but extremely worthwhile. It is crucial to be able to connect with a therapist who understands your needs, who can guide you gently to explore and uncover those cold egoistic blankets of fear and insecurity that have trapped your inner self from shining its awesome light.
For this particular young lady, I offered her the option to come and stay with me for a few days, I would pick her up from the airport, and create sessions around her specific needs. In a safe and sacred space, she would experience, relaxation, dance, breathwork, meditation. Talk therapy and tantric bodywork would most likely be a core offering, with the end goal of being willing to be seen with the "lights on", and have a bodily release and thereby reclaim her self confidence in her authentic beauty once more. If we cannot learn to love ourselves, how can we expect other's to love us?
Hi Pauline,
I'm not sure why I'm writing to you since you're in the North Island and I'm in the South. Do you ever travel? Or have advice to travelling to Te Aroha or someone on their own..?
I was just googling because I'm so self conscious and shy with my body and I want to get over it. Especially I have problems letting guys see my lady parts. I had a boyfriend for 5 years and I wouldn't let him see me. It was lights off!!
I am 26 years old and tall and slim and have a pretty face...but I am so focused on other things about my body...My hips, thighs, cellulite and ugly vagina, nipples...that I am not comfortable and confident naked.
I love relaxing environments and massage, candles, music and being taken care of. I have been single for 2 years now and I am so lonely.
Anyway I loved reading your websites and felt the warmth and comfort!
How much would it cost if I had a nights stay and meals and like a little relaxation holiday?
Thanks
A
Body image issues can have a significant impact on our sense of well-being, on our intimate relationship with ourselves as well as with a partner. This is something that I am very passionate about and no it is not a quick fix! Our minds, our belief systems, the way our parents raised us, our peer support...media, (the list goes on), so many things have had a part to play in the way we 'see' ourselves.
Sometimes exploring outside of our comfort zones can be quite scary but extremely worthwhile. It is crucial to be able to connect with a therapist who understands your needs, who can guide you gently to explore and uncover those cold egoistic blankets of fear and insecurity that have trapped your inner self from shining its awesome light.
For this particular young lady, I offered her the option to come and stay with me for a few days, I would pick her up from the airport, and create sessions around her specific needs. In a safe and sacred space, she would experience, relaxation, dance, breathwork, meditation. Talk therapy and tantric bodywork would most likely be a core offering, with the end goal of being willing to be seen with the "lights on", and have a bodily release and thereby reclaim her self confidence in her authentic beauty once more. If we cannot learn to love ourselves, how can we expect other's to love us?
