Osho:
"Massage is something that you can start learning but you never finish. It goes on and on, and the experience becomes continuously deeper and deeper, and higher and higher. Massage is one of the most subtle arts - and it is not only a question of expertise. It is more a question of love... "Learn the technique - then forget it. Then just 'feel', and move by feeling. When you learn deeply, ninety percent of the work is done by love, ten percent by the technique. By just the very touch - a loving, conscious touch, something relaxes in the body. "If you love and feel compassion for the other person, and feel the ultimate value of him; if you don't treat him as if he is a mechanism to be put right, but an energy of tremendous value; if you are grateful that he trusts you and allows you to play with his energy - then by and by you will feel as if you are playing on an organ. The whole body becomes the keys of the organ and you can feel that a harmony is created inside the body. Not only will the person be helped, but you also.

Thank you Osho for sharing this message with us. What does the above message mean to you?
For me, it is an affirmation, that all we need is love.  When we come from love, we are able to share our whole being with another in an open hearted way.
It is also means to me that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to love or share your love with another.  Massage for me is one of the ways that I can share my heart with other's. My love for touch extends when I touch others with unconditional open heartedness.  The great thing that comes out of it too is the knowledge that I am doing it right, as there is no wrong way to love when it comes free of attachments and conditions.
This may be one of the reasons why I am not a Workshop Junkie, other practitioners race off to do the latest massage workshops to upskill and learn new techniques, where as I sit back and only pick the ones that resonate with me.  I am confident in the knowledge that I already have all the tools that I need, to share my skills and my knowledge with others, those that need me will find me.

My sessions are intuitive, loving and un-choreographed. Each session will be unique as everyone's needs are different.  The common denominator however is love, and open hearted non judgemental acceptance of the person that I am working with.
Some sessions may begin in tears and end in laughter, every session will flow as it is meant too, but I am confident in the knowledge that when we come from the position of unconditional love and trust, there will be no mistakes and only Truth, Joy and Peace will flow forth.

Joy, Peace, and Truth
Pauline

"SESSIONS FOR LOVE" - Holy Spirit Massage
It is with much nudging from Spirit that I have decided to heed the call for "Free Holy Spirit Healing Sessions".
I understand that not everyone can afford a Healing Session, and it is usually the one's that cannot that need it the most. So in honour of this fact I am placing myself at service.

If you know of anyone that truly needs to connect , receive touch or de-stress, whether they are depressed, sick, feeling lost or in need of some higher guidance, a shoulder to lean on, whichever form it takes. Please pass the word around that I am available to help.

Just because one cannot afford a therapy,does not mean that they are not worthy of receiving a session. Nothing is impossible in this world with a little bit of Love and Acceptance.

Now I know that offering Free Sessions may leave me open for abuse, but I trust that this will not be so. People that can afford to pay, will still do so, In all my sessions there is always an energy exchange, Yes I do have earthly needs that still need to be met, so I won't say no to any donations or gifts of love... I do however trust that for all the Free Sessions I give, I will also receive abundance in the many ways that are available to all of us.

What does a Holy Spirit Massage look like?

It can take the form of a Reiki/Aromatherapy/Unwinding Massage, approx 60-90-120mins, this vary between individuals and will depend greatly on the work that is needing to be done or whether messages come through for you.   
Understand that you will be safe, supported and held, trust that you will be lovingly nurtured, and gently encouraged to connect with your Spirit thereby releasing your fears, that have been placed there by your ego, thereby inviting The Holy Spirit in to reconnect you to your path with Love. 

These sessions can be emotional, but deeply nurturing on many levels. Trust that Peace, Harmony, Grace and Joy will flow through you and from you.

Feel free to share, connect and offer what you can to this cause.

Love Pauline xxx
www.nurturingmassage.co.nz

Last week I wrote a little article that touched briefly on Incest. You can read it here.

Incest is a huge subject, that cannot be covered in one blog post.  Therefore over the next few months I will be putting up case studies and discussing ways that healing can be achieved.

For now though, I would like to encourage you, if you have ever been abused, sexually, emotionally, physically  or even vicariously to seek help from a therapist that has studied Family Dynamics. Professional help is essential in the recovery process of reclaiming your life.

Healing yourself begins by acknowledging the pain in the emotional trauma.
In order for this to happen you need to gently erode your denial system, by looking at your life as if you are someone else. 

The relief provided by denial is temporary at best, and the price for this relief is high. Susan Forward author of Toxic Parents states that "Denial is the lid on our emotional pressure cooker. The longer we leave it on, the more pressure we build up.  Sooner or later, that pressure is bound to pop the lid, and we have an emotional crisis. When that happens, we have to face the truths we've been so desperately trying to avoid, except now we've got to face them during a period of extreme stress.  If we deal with our denial up front, we can avoid the crisis by opening the pressure valve and letting it out easily."

Paint a picture in your mind of what your current life looks and feels like, whether it is a good life, a whole fulfilling life, or is it boring, scary or stifling...this will give you a sense of who you are and how you are feeling.

Then start talking to people, find out whether they see things the same way.
Read books, begin a journal, attend workshops and seminars, do questionnaires from treatment centres. Find a therapist. Get some mindful conscious bodywork. Do some Unwinding of the Belly. Reiki, Journeying, NLP, Talk Therapy. 
It is really important to release the emotional traumas that have been repressed.  In order for them not to  manifest as disease in the body, mindful bodywork allows for this release to happen in a safe space. 

I have seen clients with numbness and tingling sensations in limbs, from disconnecting from their bodies, due to incest trauma.  I have seen men with erectile and prostate dysfunction, Peyronies disease and women with issues about intimate touch and orgasm phobia. These symptoms have been affecting their relationships with their partners and with themselves.  They are still living in fear, guilt and shame, and their bodies are literally shutting down on them. Theses beautiful people can be helped.  All is not lost. If healing is to take place, it is important to face the fears head on. Kiss your monster on the nose.

Make a decision about your current lifestyle and past lifestyle. Try to release other addictions or compulsions as you access your pain. (most of our addictions are taken on to numb ourselves from feeling), so we need to realize that we cannot work on ourselves if we have other addictions. Try replacing our naughty addictions with some healthful ones,...
nurture yourself by getting out in nature, swimming, walking on the beach or in the bush, meditating, dancing and taking long bath's,  spend time with positive caring people, take it one day at a time.

Become aware of your body, how it feels and how it moves, it's sensations, start getting in touch with your essence. When emotions come up, feel them, sit in them and allow yourself to cry, laugh, spit, scream...whatever comes up let it, and then release it. 

This is how you get on the road to recovery, it ain't easy, it will get really shit before it get's better. But what is the alternative?  Living in a state of numbness? Walking through life like a Zombie or in constant fear?  Always living in the past?  Seeing their faces when you make love to your partner, if you are one of the lucky ones who has a partner.
These are all choices, what you do now is up to you!


Remember that you are NOT alone, here are some images from other survivor's

Resources to help:

Toxic Parents:  Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming your Life  Susan Forward 
Betrayal of Innocence: Incest and Its Devastation - Susan Forward
Men who Hate Women and the Women who Love Them - Susan Forward
The Road Less Travelled - M. Scott Peck
Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for those who have been physically, sexually, or emotionally abused - Steven Farmer
Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing your Inner Child - John Bradshaw
Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families - John Friel & Linda Friel
The Creation of Health: The emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Responses that Promote Health and Healing - Caroline Myss, Ph.d

Whenever I am talking to a client or a friend that is suffering from an ailment or two, I always ask them how often they take a bath.  This may seem rude, but once you get to know me you understand why I ask. 
If you want to feel better quickly, I always suggest an aromatherapy bath.  This way your body is able to access immediately the therapeutic properties of the essential oils.
Hydrotherapy has been used for centuries to improve the health and wellbeing of the human body and spirit. So why is it, that people are so surprised to learn that they can use this modality themselves every day to harness vitality and energy?
One of the other ways I am quick to suggest is massage. Loving touch given mindfully using therapeutic essential oils, is a sure way to get yourself feeling better. So without further timewasting, herewith are some quick tips and a recipe or two to help with supporting you or someone you love through the rollercoaster ride of Menopause.


Menopause Bath - (regulates Hot Flashes)
3 drops Geranium
2 drops Clary Sage
2 drops Lemon
1 drop Bergamot

Night Sweats and Peaceful Sleep Bath
3 Ylang Ylang
4 Rose
6 Chamomile
3 Lavender

How to make an Aromatherapy Bath Blend 
Mix your essential oils into a 1/4 cup of milk, and then disperse this blend into the bath water prior to getting in.
It is important to make sure that you do not place the essential oils directly into the bath water without first mixing with the milk, as the milk helps the oil dissolve, without this method the oil will merely float on the surface of the bathwater and could irritate your skin. Also remember to not put the mixture in too early as you want to benefit from the inhalation of the oils, placing the mixture into the bath too early only benefits the ceiling and the beautiful aromatherapy essences will rise and you want to be the one enjoying the full powers of these gorgeous oils...

Massage Blend - Full Body Nurturing Oil
3 Tablespoons Sweet Almond Oil/ Carrier of your choice
1 Teaspoon Calendula Oil
4 drops Lavender
4 drops Ylang Ylang
2 drops Basil
2 drops Geranium
2 drops Bergamot

Aphrodisiac Love Oil - Massage 
3 Tablespoons Sweet Almond Oil / Carrier of your choice
then choose 3 or 4 essential oils  from Jasmine, Patchouli, Rose, Sandalwood or Ylang Ylang
(2 drops of each)

How to make up a massage oil
Use a clean dish,then add the above essential oils into the Carrier oil. (Sweet Almond, Calendula, Macadamia etc), give it a little stir with your finger, then massage over the entire body. Take time with this massage, feel the oils working and going where they need.
If you want to make up a bigger batch you will need to put some vit E, into the blend to keep it stable. Place the oils that you have lovingly created into an amber bottle and place in the fridge. Some oils will not keep longer than six months, so use them lavishly and make fresh.

*I like to warm my blends before I  use them, to do this I light a little tea light underneath the oil burner, and then test the oil on my wrist before I begin the massage.
** The most beautiful thing about using aromatherapy to support your health and well being is unlike pharmaceuticals, aromatherapy does not build up in the body and it is gentle, but powerful.  Can be used on children, invalids and animals.

Depression - Vapouriser
Into an Oil burner place some water, a cup at least 
4 drops Clary Sage - euphoric, antidepressant
4 drops Ylang Ylang - states of anger, anti depressant
3 drops Geranium - regulating, balancing
2 drops Basil - clearing the mind, mental fatigue
1 drop Sandalwood - nervous tension, concentration

Oils to ease and benefit symptoms of Menopause
Night Sweats - Basil, Chamomile, Lavender, Marjoram, Neroli, Rose, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang 
Hot Flashes - Geranium, Clary Sage, Lemon, Bergamot 
Decreased Interest in Sex - Patchouli, Ginger, Myrrh (MAKE YOU MORE BODY AWARE)
Body Ashamed - Rose, Jasmine, Ylang ylang, Neroli
Hypochondria - Lavender, Cypress, Rose


A note on exercise and sexual activity:
It has been found that exercise is really beneficial to increase circulation around the pelvic area and this in turn stimulates vaginal secretion. 30-45 minutes of exercise daily is highly beneficial. I find dance or movement of any kind positive. 
Sinus Health:
Keeping your sinuses healthy is also key to a healthier sex life. Try rubbing a little sesame oil on the inside of your nostrils to clear sinusitus. Pituitary gland stimulation is important in stimulating interest in sex, try including some essential oils with aphrodisiac properties into your rituals...they will also help secrete endorphins and enkaphelins.
Aphrodisiac oils such as Clary Sage, Jasmine, Patchouli, Ylang ylang, Sandalwood, Carrot Seed, Black Pepper, Ginger, Fennel, Frankincense, Geranium, Hyssop, Juniper, Myrrh, Neroli, Pine, Rose, Rosemary
Dietary Requirements
Eat a diet rich in Fatty Acids, Vit E, Niacin, Evening Primrose, Safflower, Phosphorus, Zinc, Oysters, Good Quality Dark Chocolate, Raspberries, Elderberries
Eat Less: Red Meat, Dairy, Sugar
Drink Less: Caffeine, Alcohol
Eat More: High Fibre, Vegetables, Soy, Whole Grains
Oestrogen Mimic-ing Oils
Low oestrogen levels have been linked to memory loss as in Alzheimer's, some of the essential oils that "mimic" oestrogen are clary sage, cypress and basil.  Oils that stimulate the adrenals will also be helpful such as cedarwood, citronella, geranium and clary sage.
Healing Touch
Try incorporating some healing touch into your health regime. I encourage you to find a bodywork therapist that can intuitively massage you, connect with you, listen to you and customise aromatherapy blends to support what you are going through.  We are all different and we have different needs. Getting Touch on a regular basis will keep your immune system functioning healthily and keep you positively loving towards yourself and others.

Good luck,
Love Pauline

"This is my latest testimonial from a Couple that enjoyed the experience of "Absolute Surrender"

This morning I rang for a catch up with Pauline, I know that phone conversation never goes as it would with any other person.  When Pauline asks, “how’s life”, what she is really meaning is, “have you had good orgasms lately to release the endorphins that you need for healing”.

This might be a funny way to start a conversation, but once you get to know Pauline and Murray, it’s not that funny at all and you really do find yourself opening up about how you are feeling and also getting a small lecture, a friendly one, but a lecture none the less!  “HAVE MORE TOUCH, USE YOUR VIBRATOR, RELEASE THE ENDORPHINS WITH AN ORGASM”

Tell me who else in the world would tell you that you need to orgasm more…… and also tell you if you can’t orgasm with your husband, then do it alone while he is at work and the kids are at school.